On March 17th, bars all across the United States serve green beer in honor of St. Patrick's Day. On March 18th, one can buy green beer half-price.
One March 18th, several years ago, when I was a student-teacher (yes, I was a teacher, it's true), I sat on a bar stool, at a place called Flynn's, while a fellow student-teacher of mine, by the name of Art, got completely drunk on half-priced green beer, and tried to explain to me the colors of the Irish flag. I may have had a green beer or two myself, as the details are a bit jumbled up, but I think this was his story.
"The green is for the emeralds, and the orange is for their hair." he said.
"They don't have emeralds in Ireland." I said.
"They most certainly do. It is called the Emerald Isle."
"That's because it looks like an emerald from a distance, you doofus." I said, very politely. ("Doofus," being a term of art at teacher college.)
"Exactly! Green. And the orange is because all true Irish have orange hair, which is called red, but is really orange. Green and Orange. Get it?"
"Yeah, I get that you are drunk." I though to myself, very politely.
But, as I squeezed my brain, moist with green beer, I realized every Irish I had ever known (and by Irish, I mean real Irish, not some fourth generation American girl with an obscure Gaelic name her mother picked out of Beyond Shannon and Sean just because her last name happened to be Murphy) had red hair. But, I only knew two. And, not a single member of U2 has red hair. That had to mean something right?
"What about the white?" I asked. "The white, between the green and orange."
"Think about it." he said, drunk and condescending. "All Irish people are white. Duh." ("Duh," being a term of art at teacher college.)
I thought about it. Mr. McGuigan, that girl I knew in high school, and the four members of U2 -- everyone of them, white.
It was obvious then. I had had enough green beer. Time to switch to amber.
Dear Theme Thursday, if any future themes are orange, white, or amber, I'm covered.
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