Way Awesomer

Wow...would you look at this...my blog is still here. 

I've dropped in to say, "Hi."  Many of you have been really sweet about missing me.  Though those of you who actually know me, and see me in person, (and by in person, I mean on Facebook, because let's be honest...I don't get out much), I know it is not me you are missing when there is no blog.  It is the blog.  Which is a way awesomer.  

But, I am rusty.  (I can barely type anymore!  I had to ask Hubband where to find that exclamation point.)  And, I feel like I need to catch everybody up before I just start posting again. 

So, let's catch up!  (Found it myself that time.) 

September to January is our busy season.  And this is why...

There's school.  I do that at home.  You might remember this big day back in mid-August.

Then in late September, we celebrated Sam's birthday.

If you think he has a blue smile, he does.

That used to be Cookie Monster.

Then, two days later, I left on vacation.  All alone.  [A hush falls over the room.]  Well, not completely alone.  My mom and I went on a whirl-wind cruise of New England and Eastern Canada.

It was awesome!  I finally got to meet Boston, and my friend Jane, and the Rockettes (yes, in Boston!), and my first Dunkin' Donut, and Canadian airport security.  I was nude-y scanned and they took my maple syrup.  There is a lot of story here.  But, I should save it for another day.

By the time I got home it was October, and we had to catch up on school.  This involved, baking an apple pie...

..."churning' our own butter...

...and, some "real" work.  Like building and using an anemometer. 

There was the annual apple picking trip...

 and the annual pumpkin patching trip...

and the annual Halloween.

In November, Cate turned three.



We celebrated by taking her to her first movie.

Yes, she look a little manic.  She's drinking a soda, and eating popcorn, and watching the biggest TV she's ever seen.  And, it's her birthday.

We had Hubbnad's family stay with us for Thanksgiving.  I cooked.  The turkey was dreadful, but the sides are always more interesting than the bird anyway.  My oven has never been so proud of itself.

After Thanksgiving things slowed down a bit.  There were only three more weeks of school until Christmas break, when there would be time to breathe.

So, we decided to move.  On the tenth of December, we decided to move on the nineteenth.  We could have waited until the first, but I thought I would rather spend my school break unpacking the new house than living half-in and half-out of boxes at the old house.  It sounded reasonable.  It would have worked too, if it weren't for that meddlesome Christmas.

We spent it at my mom's which made it easier.  And, Nana enjoyed having all of her grandkids under one roof, and they enjoyed being there, even if you can't tell from the best picture I could get of the four of them.

We rang in the new year with family, and more family.


Then Jonah turned 7.

Notice how there are no pictures of Jonah's birthday party or cake?  That's because he had neither.  We chucked him a new box of Legos, and told him we'd make it up to him next year.  Okay, so it wasn't quite that bad.  We did celebrate the way he wanted to.  And Hubband and I promised each other that next year, we will pace ourselves.

Well, that's it.  You're caught up.  

Also, I have widened my page to allow for bigger pictures.  I am interested in feedback.  Is it too wide to read?  Are the pictures too much?  If you have an opinion, please, don't keep it to yourself.

Perfect

It is a November day, but most of the leaves are still green.  The weather is moody; first sunny, just warm enough to not be cool, then bright grey and gusty, and now I see more sun in the west.  Moody, but perfect.

My children are playing in the backyard.  All three of them.  Together.  I am not privy to the rules of their game, and probably won't be, absent an egregious violation requiring my intervention, or a ride to the hospital.  There is an elaborate fantasy world out there, involving costumes, weapons, negotiated loyalties, and the not infrequent use of the word butt.  And, (this is my favorite part), as for as I can tell, they are all on the same side.

But, it is a school day, and at some point, I must make them come in, sit still, and learn something on purpose.  They won't like that. And neither will I.  So, for now, for a just a few more minutes, I sit at my desk, my cold toes telling me flip-flop weather is over, listening to my children make friends with each other in the whole wide world that they have imagined for themselves.  Because it is important to learn how to do that, too.

The Next Bottom You Wipe Might Be Your Own

Today, I asked Jonah to go around the house, find the dirty dishes, and bring them to me so that I could wash them.  He just looked at me, confused.

"What?  Why are you looking at me like that?  There are two glasses sitting on the table next to you."

"But...I'm not a woman."  His tone was not disrespectful, just really confused.

My mouth dropped open, and gaped there for a good while.

"Well, I'm not," he said.  "Do I have a pony tail?  Do I have an apron?"  Now he was sassing me.

We had a little chat.  After which he went and gathered up the dirty dishes.  Well, most of them.

"Jonah, you brought me one glass from the end table, but not the other one."

"Oh, that one's not mine."

This is when I lost it.

Not yours?  I don't care if it is not yours.  I asked you to bring it to me.  Do you see all of the dishes in this sink?  Do you know how many of them are "mine"?  I do ALL the dishes.  Even the ones I don't use.  I wash all the clothes.  Even the ones I don't wear.  I brush the teeth in four-out-of-five mouths in this house.  Even though I don't have four mouths.  I wipe three-out-of-five bottoms in this house.  Even though I don't have three bottoms.  So, I don't want to hear about how that one glass, sitting right next to your glass, is NOT your glass.  I want you to pick it up and bring it to me, like a boy with a generous heart.  Or, failing that, like a boy with some sense, and some respect for his mother, and some interest in living in MY house until his seventh birthday.  Because I don't have to do this.  I am a lawyer.  Do you know that?  I went to school for a very long time and I took a very hard test so that I would not have to be the hired help.  I am not the hired help.  I am way overqualified to wipe butts and be disrespected by you.

Then it occurred to me...who isn't overqualified for this?  You usually have to pay someone to do what I do.  And, if you disrespect them, they will quit.  Why would anyone put up with this?  Maybe, as their mother, I am the only one who is qualified.  Well, if that is the case, then a few things need to be set straight.

So, listen here, little man.  Listen closely, and tell your brother and sister.  Tell them that The Woman, the one with the pony tail and the apron, has lost her mind and she has something to say.  This is OUR house, and OUR dishes, and OUR laundry, and yes, even OUR butts.  I am not doing all of this for you, and I am certainly not doing it all for me.  WE are doing this for US.  Just because you are too young to do most of it, does not mean you are off the hook.  So, I would appreciate it if, in the future, you would do what you are told, all the way, right away, and with a happy face.  And if you ever tell me that what I do is "woman's work" again, well...God help you, because even Daddy won't be able to.

XOXO ~ Mommy

Counting by Trillions

How many zeros in a trillion?

 This has nothing to do with the national debt.  It has to do with skip counting: what modern education calls counting by twos, fives, tens, etc.

Jonah, little ball of brilliance though he is, had a really hard time learning to count by twos.  Wailing, rending of garments, gnashing of teeth.  A typical school day, really.  And, as usual, he seemed to think it was my fault, like I invented the idea or something.

He often acts as though the things I teach him aren't really important, just chosen arbitrarily and capriciously by me to torment him. (Like I have time for that.)  Or, maybe he just thinks they are hard, and he needs an excuse for all the dramatics he uses to avoid them.  In an attempt to further his point, he test me.  If this is so important, let's see if Mom knows it. 

"Mom?  Can you count by 2's?"

"Yes.  You know I can.  I have been counting with you all day."

"Can you count by hundred's?"

"Yes."

"Well, do it then."

"100, 200, 300..." and so on, I counted to one thousand.  Thwarted, but not satisfied, he continued.

"Can you count by a trillion?"  It was clearly a dare. 

"One trillion, two trillion, three trillion..."  I began to wonder when I could stop.  What comes after a trillion?  And how many trillions does it take to get there?  What was that going to be like?  "Two hundred million trillion, three hundred million trillion..."  My mind boggled.  I didn't have all day to stand in my kitchen counting by a trillion to prove something to my six year old.  Somewhere around twenty trillion, my counting trailed off.

"Why did you stop?"

"Well, I..."  I started to explain to him, what I just explained to you.  But, I didn't get very far.

"I guess you aren't so smart after all," he said, and he kind of wonder away.

"Maybe not,"  I hollered after him.  "But at least I can skip count by two,"

Okay, no, I didn't.  But I did get to show off my skip counting skills for the rest of the week while we practiced and practiced and practiced, until he was ready to kill me, or get it right.  He got it right.  And, he was so proud of himself.

The hardest won victories are the sweetest. 

Now, onto telling time.  I anticipate more drama...at first.  I"ll let you know how it turns out.

Back To School

We are homeschooling again this year.  Officially, only Jonah is in school.  Hello, first grade!  But, Sam and Cate need some learnin' too.  Sam is pre-kindergarten, and Cate is pre-pre-kindergarten.  We keep each other busy.

Three students ready for the first day of school.  Two of them are even happy about it.

Her very first letter.  Ever!  Don't worry.  She went right back to writing like a two year old and has not written anything legible since. 

What I Did This Summer -- Part 5: Oods and Ends

We are in our second week of school, so for us, summer is as good as over.  Except for swim lessons, and the heat.  But, while the days are still a little longer than not, I thought I would share with you some of the smaller bits of our summer.

You must remember, that as a homeschool mom, it is my vacation, too.  So don't judge me too harshly when I tell you, I watched seventy-two episodes of Doctor Who, and played a hundred seventy-two hours of Angry Birds.  Both of which I had never done before this summer.  (Well, okay, I had seen some of the old Doctor Who from back in the seventies, but I saw it in the eighties, late Saturday nights on PBS.  This tells you loads about my social life in the eighties as well.)

Jonah took a cupcake decorating class, in which he was the youngest student and the only boy.  Or, "a good place to find a wife," as he described it.  Combine his cupcakes with my summer(waste of)time activities, and you have this...

An Ood cupcake.  You can see the Ood inspiration here. 

Other monsters.  These are Sam's.

And, in other news...

We picked up souvenirs, or pictures thereof.

When passing through Weed, California, you do not need to buy one of these at the local gas station, but you can take a picture of one with your phone, while pretending to use their bathroom.  (Which you know I would never do.  See Part 2.)

We played in the water...

We helped Uncle Jim launch some homemade rockets.

Before...

It is never too early to teach a little girl about things that go boom.

Once the missile is launched (too fast to be photographed by me), someone must go get it.  Have fun, Uncle Jim.

And, someone must bring it back.  But Catie will make the walk seem shorter by chatting your ear off.

After

Catherine caused us some concern.

I am posting this, so that when I tell you she is trouble, you know just what kind of trouble I am talking about.  Daddy's little girl  trouble.  Do-I-look-like-I-would-cause-trouble? trouble.  Gunna-break-your-heart-and-steal-your-truck trouble.

It's all fun and games until someone becomes a stripper.

And, we rested.

His sister gave him her bubba, which was really sweet.  Maybe she's worth the trouble.

The End

I hope to be back soon with some Fall adventures, but until then, if you missed any episode of What I Did This Summer you can catch up here...

Part 1:  Medium-rare Waffles with Amish Strangers

Part 2:  Toilet Tourism

Part 3:  No One Slept Here 

Part 4: Ghosts and Posers

Jelly Belly Field Trip and a Give-Away. Yay, Give-Aways!

It is officially summer vacation, for almost officially everyone.  Since we homeschool, day to day life has not changed much, except that there is no school.  In it's place: swim lessons, family visits, and field trips.  Yay, field trips!

A few weeks ago, my brave and adventurous mother, known forevermore, and to all, as Nana (Okay, maybe not to all, but to all who matter.  Me, my sister, our spouses, our kids.), offered to take us to the Jelly Belly Factory in Fairfield, California.  Yay, Nana!

Samuel, Baby Lucas, Tante Tricia, Me, Catherine, Jonah, and Nana rocking the mandatory paper hat before our tour.

Have you ever heard of Jelly Bellies?  They are gourmet jelly beans.  They started with eight flavors and now have over fifty, like pomegranate, chili-mango, and buttered popcorn.  If those flavors are too exotic for you (buttered popcorn is gross), they also have licorice, green apple, watermelon, and strawberry jam.  My favorite is cinnamon.  Yay, cinnamon!

President Ronald Reagan was a big fan when he was Governor of California, and took his passion national when he became President.  A special jar was made for his desk in the oval office, and on Air Force One, just to hold his Jelly Bellies.  When news of this spread, so many curious candy eaters ordered them, that the poor Jelly Belly people, caught unawares, were seventy weeks behind on orders.  No fear of that now.  They run a huge, state of the art processing plant.  Tours are free and include a Jelly Belly Portrait Gallery, and samples.  Yay, samples!

President Ronald Reagan made entirely our of Jelly Belly beans.

Again, entirely our of Jelly Bellies.

I brought my three kids, and my sister brought her one baby.  That was a ratio of three adults to four kids.  Baby Lucas was pushed around, strapped securely in his carriage.  We knew we could trust Jonah and Sam to locomote and not wander too far (we had their sugar).  But, Cate was a different story.  We weren't taking any chances.  We kept her on a very short leash.  Yay, toddler leash!

They told me this leash was the latest in pre-school fashion.  I was deceived.

Yes, look closely.  I am tied to a chair.

I'm not going to let it stop me though.

Of the four kids we took, only three had teeth.  Now, only two do.  It was like Halloween, and the Easter Bunny, came all in one day.  Yeah, they were a little hyper restless, vomiting nauseated and crying tired at the end.   But, we had it under control.  (See leash above.)  And it was worth it!  Yay, worth it!

So. much. sugar.

Now for the moment you have been waiting for.  The BIG Jelly Belly Give Away.  Jelly Belly Jelly Beans come in fifty flavors, forty-nine* of which are featured in this box, and I am giving it away to you.  Yes, you!  Well, one of you.  Just leave a comment here, or on Facebook, and you will be entered to win.  The drawing will be held seven days from today.  (Any longer than that, and I am likely to eat the prize.)  Good luck!  (Nana and Tante Tricia not eligible.)

*Forty-nine flavors, not forty-nine beans.  There are a whole bunch of beans.

To learn more about the family business that changed the jelly bean, you can go to the Official Jelly Belly Website.  They also make the most amazing candy corn, so book mark it for October, when you will be in need of just such a confection.

The Week in Kids

It's been a long time since I have posted The Week in Kids.  But, it is summer and I have more time.  And, it is summer and we are crazy busy.

This week...

Tante Tricia (my sister) came to visit.

She brought ice cream.

And, baby Lucas.

What?  They won't let me have any ice cream.  What else am I supposed to do?

Also this week...

...the boys had their first ever swim lessons.  They are in the Seahorse class, which is only one step above the Starfish class.  As Sam pointed out, "Starfish can't swim."  Neither can you baby.

Also this week...

...we went to the Jelly Belly Factory (more on that to come) and ate jelly beans until our teeth rotted out of our heads.

Also this week...

There are movies on the ceiling at this dentist.  They don't make his teeth any stronger.

...Sam had to go to the dentist (again), only to confirm that his teeth have, in fact, rotted out of his head.  He has cavities in fourteen of his twenty teeth.  We're talking root canals and caps and stuff, under general anesthesia.  This is not happy news.

Also this week...

...I gave Cate a tub of water and some plastic dishes, so she could "do dishes" just like Mommy.  She promptly took off all her clothes and jumped in.  Uh...she never learned that from me.

Also the week...

...Cate got a new swim suit.  Which she insisted on trying on.  Immediately.

And, posing in.

Okay, what is this about?  Supermodel pout, working the tutu swimsuit over pajamas look.

Also this week...

...we returned Tante Tricia's visit with one of our own.  Uncle Jim gave lawn mower rides.  (And, launched rockets, but more on that later, too.)

See you next week!!! (maybe)