Are you a label reader? One of those people who reads the fine print on everything you buy? Well, I am. I don't read nutrition labels, as such. I mean, I know I should care how much sodium is in my saltines or how much fat is in my Ben and Jerry's, but, alas, I do not.
I read labels because the are hysterical. Really. Come, let me show you.
This is a box of drinking straws. The bendy kind. The regular, straight kind are usually too long for small children to use well. And they make it easier for grown ups to drink in bed. You know, when you are just too lazy to sit up. Bendy straws. Or, as the packaging calls them,
But, don't stop there. These are not just any "straws flexible." These are Drink delights. Ooooh. Ahhhh.
To illustrate: This is a drink...
This is the label on the side of a take-and-bake pizza box.
Are you kidding me? I bought this "authentic regional dish" at Target right around the corner from the feminine hygiene products.
And last but not least...
Socks for the boys.
What I want to know is who write this stuff and where do I apply?