Thursday, April 8, 2010

A Word on Marriage

I have only been married five years, ten months, three weeks and two days.  I am no expert.  But I have been married long enough to know this:  Whatever you think your life will be, it won't.

I am not saying there is no such thing as "happily ever after."  Nothing nearly that cynical.  I'm talking (as usual) about the mundane.  How ever you think you will raise your children, you won't.  How ever you think you will decorate your home, you won't.  What ever you think you will name your dog, what ever temperature you think you will keep your bedroom at night, how ever you think you will open Christmas presents, you won't.

Because marriage is about compromise.  And even if you and your intended agree on every single thing as you stand there at that altar taking your vows, things will change.  You will change.  Your intended will change.  You haven't even met the children yet, and I promise you, they will be different than you expect.  Compromises will, and must be made.

As a point of illustration, I offer this:  Hubband and I both agreed that we did not want to live in one of those houses where the television was the center of the room.  Aesthetically and culturally tacky.  We agreed.  Yet, somehow, our whole living space is now arrange in a very awkward configuration, for the sole purpose of giving us better access to the television.

Don't be fooled but the optical illusion of this picture.  
I can sit on the couch and put my feet up on the fence.

The television is not only the focal point of the room, it looks as though the room is in fact a shrine.  The television in question sits in its own alcove, a grotto of sorts, enclosed by a low fence to keep the stickier and more curious worshipers at a safe distance.  For your viewing and sitting pleasure, the couch is less than four feet away, in the middle of the room.  And by "middle," I mean the geographic center of the room.  Front to back, side to side, in the middle of the room.

I have no energy left to fight this.  All the compromising has worn me down.  And, if I were being completely honest, I would admit that it is kinda nice to be able to see the TV.


  1. It isn't all that awkward, 'tis still near enough the Fireplace, the trad' focus of a room.

    As to the Optics, you could be a long one.

  2. Do you know what? You must have got married at almost exactly the same time as I did. I may have been a couple of days ahead of you.

  3. May 16, 2004. I am not quite sure about the days/weeks in my post. I estimated. It is difficult as the calendar refuses to fit into the metric system.

  4. Oh, and Vince, I am quite short. So I gave this a try. And I can do it, but it is not the most comfortable way to sit. If we pushed it just a few inches closer...and you are beginning to see how we got this far.

  5. Not a clue.
    But I did think that the only way you could keep three kids out of that space would be to turn it into an area of detention. Or a Ice Hockey goal reversed onto the wall.

    Sorry about the height thing

  6. LOL! Oh yes...and you didn't have to go to law school to figure it all out! :)

  7. Compromise - you've got that right. It's all about compromise and choosing your issues. Our wedding anniversary is also on May 16, but I was married in 1992! I cannot believe I will have been married for 18 years.

    I love that tv photo. I think the tv saved my children's lives a few times (it meant I could nap) so in a way it does deserve some kind of homage.

  8. hehe...i just read this post out loud to my hubby!!! funny but oh so true!

  9. I hate the TV too!. I love your fence though. Brilliant. I've been married 10 years and recently found that I know nothing about marriage.