[slinks in, unnoticed]
Well, hello there? Remember me? School is over, and I am back!
[waves arms in air]
[shakes everything about a bit]
[adjust everything back into its proper place]
[looks around, a bit embarrassed]
Well, yes. So, I am back. And, I must say, I have been welcomed back in style. Today in my mail box, I found this.
[trumpet fan fair]
My very first (and quite probably and quite rightly my very last) fan letter.
[trumpet fan fair]
That's right (giddy squeak). Mail. I love mail. From a fan. I love fans. I have fans!
[steps away to answer knock at door from disgruntled neighbor asking to silence the trumpets as her cockatoo is sleeping]
[apologizes, blushes again, sends regards to cockatoo]
This wasn't just a "keep up the good work, we love you" fan letter either. It had a gift card in it. A Starbucks gift card.
[holds card, Vanna White style, caresses the air around it]
Isn't that the sweetest thing ever?
This fan was anonymous, but not in a peering through my front hedge sort of way. They wrote, "It's given anonymously so you'll realize what a big fan base you have!"
[sniffles a little, wipes eyes]
Yes, I know this is ridiculous. An anonymous card could mean that I have exactly one fan and she's my mother. A card signed by Michelle Obama or the newly princessed Kate Middleton would mean I have a big fan base.
[thinks a bit more on this]
Then again, Mrs. Obama and the Princess do not have my home address, so even if they were fans of mine, which, let's face it, they very well could be, they have no way of actually getting the card in my caffeinated hands.
[realizes mid-level greatness]
[sits up a little straighter at keyboard]
Michelle, Kate, don't worry. Just e-mail me. And, if you are ever in town, the coffee is on me.
[notes foul odor wafting from kitchen]
[reminded must do dishes]
[swells with thankfulness for what she has]
To YOU, who sent my very first fan letter, thank you. It meant even more than the Starbucks card. (But you can't have it back or anything.)
I've missed everybody, and I will be back soon. Promise.
[secretly worries that such a promise won't be kept due to tragic death in fiery crash]
[makes note to e-mail blogger password to friend so fans can be notified, mourn, get closure]
[relieved to remember that local Starbucks has double doors, plenty of room for swelling head]