Toast O.E. and the Toddler Menace

Every book we own, every movie, every CD, every video game, is hidden away.  Hidden, in plain sight, on the various and sundry shelves that we, like all new marrieds, seem to have acquired through our adult lives, and still retain for their utility, not their style.  While the various media are out in the open,the shelves themselves are locked away in our bedroom.  Why?  The toddling menace that is Samuel, that is why.

 Samuel as Woody

 We have toddler-proofed the door to our bedroom, and he is very seldom left in there unattended.  Or, even attended if I can help it, because the kid is, as I have mentioned, a menace.

One of the few exceptions is if I need to shower.  It is generally true that my bathing activities, like those of most mothers with small children, are usually relegated to the wee dark hours, while the children still sleep.  But not always.

A few months ago, was one of those exceptions.  Jonah was at school.  Hubband was at work.  Sam and Cate were underfoot.  And, Mommy needed a shower.  I can't remember the occasion, but it must have been something big because I needed to shower, shampoo and shave -- the Housewife Triple Crown.

I just had to go for it.  Bathe as quickly as I could, let him make a mess, and clean it up later.

I would like to pause here to address those parents who will inform me that I don't need to live like this.  There is a way to train ones children to immediate obedience every time.  Using a switch, a wooden spoon, or a cattle prod.  To these parents, I say...This is true.  But it is time consuming.  And traumatic.  And hardly seems worth it for some dusty old books, and a VHS copy of Tequila Sunrise.  I save this sort of training for the truly dangerous.  So, back to a few months ago, and my shower, worthy of an audience with the Queen. 

"Sam, Mommy needs to take a shower.  Do you want to watch a movie?"

"Toast O.E.  Toast O.E."

"Toy Story it is.  Now be a good boy, and stay on Mommy's bed."

With Samuel thus distracted by Buzz Lightyear and his friends, and Catie, only 10 months old at the time, on the floor with her favorite toys, I make a mad dash for the shower.  I peeked out every few minutes to find Samuel still sitting where I left him, on my bed, watching Toast O.E.  This is going very well.  Fingers crossed.

When I got out of the shower, he was still there, happily watching his movie.  It's been awhile since he has been in here, I thought.  Maybe he has finally out grown this particular brand of curiosity.  Oh, happy day!  

I stepped all the way into the room to find books and movies strewn everywhere, and little Catie looking up at me with the cutest little hey-mommy-look-what-I-did smile.

The toddler menace torch had passed.  Oh. happy. day.