Tuesday, December 22, 2009

The Smuggersons

I found this in my "draft" box.  It is a bit snarky.  I must have been in a mood when I wrote it.  But, I still like it.  So, excuse my snark, and take it for humor, as it was intended.

I have been on a little blogosphere adventure. Blogger has a "next blog" feature. If you look at the top of the page you will see it. Everyday since I started blogging I have hit that a few times just to see where I land.

At first, all I got were sites in Arabic, porn, and so many sites for Micronesian "hair bands" that I was beginning to think those were code words for something nefarious. Recently, however, Blogger has greatly improved this feature. They now send you to site that might actually interest you. Or, are at least in a language you can read.

Because of the nature of my own blog and my Google searches, I get sent to a lot of parent blogs. (Or, medieval armor blogs if Hubband has been using the computer.) These are blogs by parents that purport to tell you about the cute doings of Jaden, Kaden, Payton, Leighton, Addison, Madison, and Huck. But, really, they are where these parents can come to tell you how superior they are.

After a few weeks of reading these, I have compiled a list of things I am sick of hearing people be smug about.

Cloth Diapers
Home Birth
Organic and/or Locally Grown Produce
Baby Wearing
Family Bed
Fast Food/Processed Food/Any Food not made of Bark

Don't get me wrong, I am not against cloth diapers. I have used them. I am not against home birth, but my first one was in there sideways people. Only one way he was getting out. We have done the immunization research and made the right decision for each child. We have locally grown organic produce delivered, but it does not make me superior to anyone. You either, Mr. and Mrs. Smuggerson. So, by all means, extol the virtues of the above, but don't be smug. We're all doing the best we can with what we've got.

Now, I want to make perfectly clear that Mr. and Mrs. BLOG Smuggerson are not to be confused with Mrs. PARK Uppity-Smuggerson. (She only started hyphenating after the child was born as a concession to practicality.) She of the $200 hair cut, $400 jeans, and $1000 stroller, with one clean kid (named Jean Pierre or Walter) in an adorable $50 outfit. The woman who cringes and stays close when my child comes too near hers. Germs, you know. Or maybe she is worried my boy's "ordinary" is contagious. Fine lady. Whatever. I get it. Your son is going to run the world. But mine is going to have a lot more fun being a kid.

Samuel having fun being a kid.


  1. Brilliant. I love snarky. It goes well with pithy.

    I only like bark if it's made out of chocolate and has either nuts or peppermint on it.

  2. Funny! : ) My current pet peeve is the incessant talking of how advanced the little one is in school. That's great...but...enough already : )
    Merry Christmas to you & your family!

  3. Tracey, I think you are my blogging equivalent of a BFF (and if you don't know what that is because Catherine is only 1, it stands for Best Friend Forever):D

    Good rant! The thing about blogland is there are no editors screening out the Smuggersons. Too bad! Then again, maybe they would also screen me out and I wouldn't like that.

    Merry Christmas to you and your beautiful family! I love the new profile pic and your description of Hubband.